The Devil in Disguise

While Sadona swam in the onboard pool, I was sunbathing naked on the bow of the Prince Theadore. The vessel was a gift from the Price of Tunisia in gratitude for my marriage to his daughter Phillip. It's the smallest of my fleet but has the most comfortable of facilities. The sun was shining and the Caribbean waters were calm enough not to spill my full-to-the-brim martini. I had just finished a 5 hour sexual session with Sadona and was exhausted. My newly fattened and elongated penis has me pleased. Very pleased. I bought Sadona from a pimp in Cuba for 50,000 dollars and granted him safe passage into the states. Her slight mood swings and morning illness gave me the feeling that she was becoming pregnant. I was pondering dumping her in the hands of Guantanamo bay dock workers.

Clouds started forming to the east. "Heavens, I hope it's not rain.", I said to myself. The clouds approached quickly. I turned to Sadona to inform her to take cover but she was nowhere to be found. "Sadona darling it's time to seek shelter in the galley! Sadona?" I heard the approaching of that most dreaded music the MTV calls 'hip-hop.' Since the incident I've been informed that it was the group Public Enemy performing a number entitled "Don't Believe the Hype." As I turned I realized the nimbus had surrounded my 150 foot yachat. I tried to run for cover but I couldn't move. The music got louder and more ear piercing. The clouds grew darker and blocked out the sun. A blast of lightning struck the bow which knocked me to my back.

When I arose standing in front of me was the tallest negro I had ever seen. Granted I haven't seen many negros in my life, mostly in the cinema. I have a few that work my estate in upstate New Hampshire, but I'm not sure. He was dressed in snow white Gucci with a white Versachi fur coat. He had on what could only be custom sunglasses with white rims and white mirror lenses. He had on a white Fedora with a white ribbon around it. He spoke with the deepest and commanding of voices. "What is up my brotha'?" "Take the boat! It is yours! Take my lover! I don't care! Don't hurt me negro man! Don't kill me please, I'll do any..." He struck me across the face. "Get a hold on yourself Francis! Now where's the bar in this ride? Damn, it's cold." When I looked up the heavens and the ocean was motionless. Dolphins were fixed in mid air and lightning in the distance was frozen like in a photograph. I turned back and the black man had made his way into the galley. I followed cautiously. I found him at my mahogany bar mixing a gimlet with Stoli Elit in my crystal tumblers I got in New York last year.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Satan Francis."

"Satan? But you are uh... uh..."

"Black?"

"I was going to say African American, but yes."

"What, a black man can't be the devil? You've been watching too many movies. The truth is I can choose my own form and I prefer that of a black male for situations such as this." He handed me a drink which I finished quickly and gestured for another. "Would you like to put on some clothes?", he suggested. "Oh, yeah." I put on my shorts that were lying across the bar stool beside me.

"Situations like this?"

"Yes. A black man seems to put the fear of God in you rich white folks plus I get to wear this." He smiled handsomely and posed by pulling the suit tight around his back by tugging the lapels. "I look good.", he chuckled.

"Indeed you do. Now what is all this about?"

"I've come to discuss a contract you signed with my associate Niko Styx of Balzaser, Styx, and Styx. They represent the legal arm of Styx Enterprises which I sit as chairman of the board. "

As we talked we sat on my giant Italian sofa I got at Modern Contemporary. "I thought all that talk about selling my soul was just witty banter. Now that I think about it it all makes perfect sense."

"Of course! You closed down shop and walked away with 2 billion dollars. Fourteen indictments and zero convictions. It takes more than shady accountants and tricky lawyers to get you out of the mess you made. You see Francis, I run hell a lot like a corporation where ironically we don't cook the books. We make strategic moves and expect full returns on all of our investments. The truth of the matter is that you've been slacking. Ever since we let you off the hook you've been lounging on your yacht fucking Mexican hookers. Not to say there is say there is anything wrong with that, it's just we want more out of you."

"I did nothing wrong! You have no right!"

"Francis, Francis, Francis. You can't talk your way out of this one. I have it right there in black in white." I looked down and on the ottoman in front of me was a copy of the 500 page contract. I picked it up and saw my signature in red on the last page."Now granted you did put over 500,000 people out of work and were responsible for 123 suicides, but most of those people found better jobs and most of the suicides were on there way to me anyway. It's not good enough."

"What do you want from me?", I asked.

He plopped himself right beside me and put his arm around my shoulders. He spoke with his lips an inch away from my cheek. "I got one word for you Francis. Influence. Sometimes it takes the slightest nudge to start the most devastating rockslide. You have to be at the right place at the right time and you can't do that SITTING ON YOUR ASS OUT HERE IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS!! Do you get my point?"

I felt a very warm sensation in my pants. I was to afraid to look down or even move for that matter. Satan looked at the wet spot in my pants, laughed, and stood up. "I think we have an understanding."

The music started again as he walked outside where Sadona joined him. She clung to the arm of his fur coat and couldn't keep her eyes off of his face. She writhed in ecstasy and didn't even look my direction. "You haven't heard the last of me Francis Theadore Plank. If you don't meet my expectations, I can make your life up here worse than anything you will ever feel in hell." With that they were gone. The skies cleared up and the boat began to gently rock again. The music faded out and I could hear the chirping of dolphins and the sounds of the ocean. "There has got to be a way out of this." I thought.