The Last Game Of Poker

I love poker. I love it too much. I replaced my alcoholism and drug use for the game of chance. I'm a gambler, but when you waste over four hundred dollers a month on a sport that you are obvously not good at it's time to reevaluate.

I'm done. It's over. No more poker. I decided this last night when my two pair didn't stand up against my friends top pair that tripped up on the river. One last stand. One last oportunity to show my stuff, and out of almost 3o players I placed 3rd. About two hundred and thirty dollers later here I sit. Drunk as a skunk and typing on my computer.

I'm not running the spell check on this bad boy because It should remain raw. I know I"m a bad speller. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a bad speller. You all know what I'm saying so fucking deal with it.

The big gamble. The chance to risk it all for the big bucks. We all have a bit of that in our system. Some of us tend to thrive on the feeling of victory that occurs when the odds work out in your favor. That's the rush I seek. That's the feeling I wish to never give up, but the fact is that that feeling doesn't always happen. Sometimes you lose shitloads of money, sometimes you lose the rent. Sometimes you take it too far and sit back and wonder what the fuck you were thinking. That's all over for me now. There will be no more reckless gampling. Good bye party poker and good bye house games. Tonight was it.

I met a beautiful woman at the game though. Wooing her will be a chore. She's new in town and I really don't make the best boyfriend material and lets face it I've got to do more tha....

Four Days Later

That's where I trailed off and passed out on the sofa. I don't know what I was trying to say there at the end but I'm sure it was something like: ... hit on her drunker than Cooter Brown. I went to see her the next day in a truly sad display. As an offering of friendship I caught her at the end of her shift at a campus non-corporate coffee house and gave her a picture that I had taken of her the day before, "I look retarded in this picture." She said almost sweetly. I had been so blind to her beauty that I didn't realize that she really did look retarded. I was immidiatly embarassed. "I'm leaving for a while now so I won't be at the game to bother you with my drunkeness anymore." I said. No responce, just a smile. She was leaving work and told me to have a safe trip and gave me a light pat on the back while I swirled the sweetner into my decaf. Out the door she went and as did I. I tossed the coffee and drove back to the place I was staying.

On this trip back to Ausitn I also went to the local trendy clubs that have sprung up since I've left. Six, Foundation, Glass, and Light. What a bunch of assholes! I've never been in a bunch of bars that were filled with such smug and unfriendly people. The only friendly people there where the managers and the staff who were people I've known since I worked downtown. Beautiful women, but all keeping to themselvs or making out with the one guy that brought them there to get them drunk enough to get her to agree to have his dick in her ass. I got out as soon as I could.

I just don't fit in in Austin anymore. Not being a student means I'm just a resident when I visit, a townie. Being a townie means you have to be some counter culture coffee drinking starving artist or a well dressed prick. I'm neither. I'm nothing in that town without my student status. I still have great memories down there though and the food is always fantastic. Which reminds me, I ate at Flemmings and had a wonderfull evening with an ex of mine. At least I thought we had a wonderfull evening. I found out the next day that I had apparently ruined it by playfully asking for a kiss. She seemed fine with it at the time, oh well, Mr. Smooth strikes again.

Another girl I wanted to see canceled on a date with me. Jesus I'm lame. If you can't tell I'm a little depressed about my female situation. Wasn't this post about poker? Fuck it. Nobody reads this shit anyway.