Little Dog Syndrome

Reeder and myself have both noticed an increase in the amount of women that tote around medium to small size dogs. Sometimes these animals will be in a tee shirt or perhaps sport a ribbon in their hair. Rest assured that none of these dogs have testicles.

Reed an I differ in opinion about the usefulness of dogs. If a $1000 vet bill comes between me and my little friend, little friend will be wearing a new wooden coat. Mr. Becker tends love and care for these furry friends more than myself. It's not our opinion of dogs that upsets us, it's the unspoken trueism that LDS (Little Dog Syndrome) represents. The real corn in the turd is the underlying sickness that hides in the dark hearts of women everywhere.

Are we being a bit harsh here? I don't think so. Let's investigate what these little animals truly represent. Women do have a lot of love to give, but are to afraid now a days to give it out to the masculine sex. Afraid because it means to them a sense of old school Donna Reed type submission.

No woman in the history of history has ever experienced this type of freedom and independence. It's gotten to a point where even a matrimonious relationship or any type of relationship with a man is a compromise of this new found freedom. A relationship with a man not only means changing to live with another human being but bearing their children and being bound by them as well. Here's where the dog comes in.

The little dog doesn't really cramp your social life. For the most part you don't have to change for it. It makes a cute little attache. It's easy to love. It doesn't talk back. Just feed it and take it outside to poop, but for the love of Christ pick up the GD shit off the ground. Anyway, it doesn't matter if it gets fat because you don't have to fuck it all the time. In fact you can still fuck whatever the hell you want. By wearing the mutt on your arm it's like walking around with a little flag of independence and saying to those in view, 'Daddy didn't love me enough!'

Reed and myself are decidedly against LDS. Not only is a little dog annoying in of itself, but this independence which it represents is tearing people apart. It's represents a barrier separating women from REAL love. I say take the little fucker out back and put a 9mm in it's skull. Cat's are cool though.