To those of you think War of the Worlds was a waste of time and money I say to you this, “BULLY!” This movie has gone through the ringer this year. Look, I don’t care if Tom Cruise worships bagel-dogs and prays to his own stool. People wanted to see him fuck up and they ended up finding flaws that weren’t even there. Tom shows us that even in the role of the common shit on blue collar worker he can find levels of complexity. Like when his ex-wife is making herself at home in his house. He closes the door to his room as she goes by. I thought that was subtle and awesome.
“The Beard” is viewed through the Hubble telescope now-a-days since he’s an uber-director. He’s been a master of special effects since “The Adventures of Young Sherlock Holmes.” This film is no exception. These things were fucking scary. They way they moved, the way they looked, and the way they brutally killed thousands of people at a time made them the most frightening things I’ve seen since the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
The people who hate this movie always say the same thing, “That little fuck Robbie should have died, hell the whole family should have died. Chad, this movie sucks and you suck!” Yes, Robbie goes over the hill and it looks like he’s a crispy critter, but he joins his family in Boston that has also miraculously survived. Yes, they survive. That’s the point, they survived! It makes this story that much more amazing. If you’ve ever seen a Spielberg picture, you know he loves to pull the sappy heartstrings. I liken this movie to Saving Private Ryan. When I first saw SPR I thought that it was ridiculous because why sacrifice all these men to save one fucking douche behind enemy lines? “Fuck that guy!” I said to myself. After watching it a second and third time I realized that it was the ridiculousness of the order that was the point of the movie. Genius!!!! Same thing with War of the Worlds, it’s about the life. Tom's story is worth telling because his whole family lived. Sure it might seem ridiculous that everyone lived, but it’s possible. In a post ‘K’ world the idea of an entire family surviving a disaster of this magnitude is something that should be embraced. What I’m really trying to say is, have a little compassion you dark assholes!!!
To sum things up, if you think War of the Worlds sucks, then you’re a hate filled anti-Semite with a heart of coal. Thank you.
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